And that got me thinking. I only really had Janet's word for it that I couldn't leave. Even Brin didn't know about Arianwen holding me prisoner. Surely, she'd have told her brother, or whatever he was to her. I began to wonder how she actually felt about Gwendolyn. Did she think of her as her mother? And of Brin as her brother? Or was she just completely using them and trying to make them believe? And Harry? Harry was her daughter, but did that mean she cared about her? Loved her? Harry clearly adored her, but Harry was at least part-human, or mortal.
“Whatcha thinking?” Janet crept up on me.
I jumped, “Shit!”
“You ok?”
“You just scared me.”
“Sorry, love.”
I shook my head, “It doesn't matter. I was miles away.”
She smiled and gazed at me. It was slightly off-putting, but kind of sweet. My head was all over the place. I had no idea whether to believe what she'd told me and whether to trust she was on my side. I tried to smile back, but she could tell something was wrong. I could see her expression change to one of concern.
“I'm really hungry,” I told her before she had the chance to say anything.
She looked upset, “I know, love. I'm going to try to get you some more food. It's just difficult.”
I felt bad, “I know, love,” I leaned close and kissed her softly. It felt strange; not like the familiarity I'd felt before in the maze. I think I flinched. I think she felt it. I assumed she did. How could she not have?
I pretended it had all felt ok, and she pretended she believed that. We both pretended we didn't realise the other was pretending. It was fantastically awkward. I began to wish I hadn't spoke to Brin; hadn't thought of the idea that Janet may be lying to me, or mis-leading me. She hadn't actually told me a lie. Arianwen probably wouldn't let us leave; but there was a difference between not allowing us to leave and preventing us leaving. I wondered which it was. Surely a being that powerful would be able to stop a mere mortal leaving a castle. Easy – far too easy. Maybe not so easy when I had an immortal protector; and immortal lover. Whatever Janet was to me – and I really hadn't worked that out – she loved me; I believed that. I believed she would do what was best for me, but somehow, I didn't trust her. I didn't trust her judgement of what was best for me.
“Fi?” Janet paused, then tried my full name, “Fiona?”
I blinked a couple of times and realised she was talking, “Sorry, yeah. I mean, yeah? What's up?”
She smiled and put a hand on my shoulder, protectively, “You need to sleep.”
I looked up at her; I could feel tears welling in my eyes. I didn't want to cry in front of her, so I turned away, “Yeah, I think I do – and I need to eat. If she's going to keep us here, she needs to feed me, or she may as well kill me now,” then I stood and walked over to the bed, flopping onto it. I buried my head into the pillow and closed my eyes, pretending to fall straight asleep.
She knew I wasn't asleep, but tried to play along. She kissed my temple and whispered, “Sleep well, my love.”
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Sunday, 27 March 2011
Installment45
**
I spent the whole day being hungry, really hungry. The apple had been good, but a couple of crackers and an apple didn't constitute a snack for me, let alone 3 meals. I moped about the castle, had a nap in my room, read a little, but all the time was being shouted at by my stomach. Eventually, I decided I could take no more. I had to get out of the castle, into the village, where real food still existed. Janet was elsewhere; I didn't know where. She'd gone away after I'd snapped at her over nothing in particular. It was one of my lovely little quirks. Hunger made me a bitch. Tiredness made me a bitch. Tired hunger made me strangely weepy, but not before I'd bitten the heads off anyone who dared try to speak to me.
It was getting to late afternoon when Brin poked his head round the door.
“Hello,” he said.
I looked up, my eyes half closed, “What do you want?”
I expected him to react to my aggression, but he just answered the question as if it hadn't been spat out, “I'm not entirely sure, to be honest, but I get the feeling you're going to help me with that.”
“I don't understand.”
“You,” he said, flicking his head in my direction, “You know things. You understand things; things my mother doesn't. How? You're not a faerie and you're sure as hell not one of them.”
I shook my head, “Human. At least, I think so.”
He grunted and nodded, “Mortal, anyway. Don't know all that much about human. Seems a made up thing that changes depending on what you're thinking that day.”
“What does that mean?”
“You call each other animals, monsters, …, not always human; always mortal.”
“That's just talk.”
“Talk?”
“Yes, of course. What else?”
“Hmmmph... I don't know. Strange creatures, mortals. You live, you die, seems half your life is about making it longer than other peoples'.”
“That's not true.”
“No?” he shrugged, “Just an observer, me.”
“Yeah, well, things aren't always what they seem, you know? Surely you're not so stupid to think that you can understand everything just by looking. You have to understand the context of things and the cultures and values and...” I ran out of words at about the time that I ran out of steam, “y'know. That stuff...”
He smiled, it was almost a sneer, but not quite. It was as if he'd spent his whole life sneering and now didn't know any other way to smile.
I watched him for a while. His awkward stance and unnatural looking facial expressions. He looked like a mannequin which had been wrongly posed and just left with the clothes hanging off his body, not quite part of the scene where he'd been placed.
“What are we going to do?” I asked him after a while.
He didn't speak for just long enough to make the silence noticable, then said, “We need to get out of here.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“What?”
“I mean, that's kind of obvious, but how? Arianwen won't let us leave.”
“Has she enchanted the castle?”
“She... I... I don't know.”
“How do you know we can't leave, then?”
“Um... Janet told me.”
“What did she say?”
I looked around the room, trying to remember the exact words. They didn't come to me, “Um... she said that Arianwen was holding us prisoner, or something like that.”
“Don't look much like a prisoner.”
“No,” I said, “I guess I don't.”
I spent the whole day being hungry, really hungry. The apple had been good, but a couple of crackers and an apple didn't constitute a snack for me, let alone 3 meals. I moped about the castle, had a nap in my room, read a little, but all the time was being shouted at by my stomach. Eventually, I decided I could take no more. I had to get out of the castle, into the village, where real food still existed. Janet was elsewhere; I didn't know where. She'd gone away after I'd snapped at her over nothing in particular. It was one of my lovely little quirks. Hunger made me a bitch. Tiredness made me a bitch. Tired hunger made me strangely weepy, but not before I'd bitten the heads off anyone who dared try to speak to me.
It was getting to late afternoon when Brin poked his head round the door.
“Hello,” he said.
I looked up, my eyes half closed, “What do you want?”
I expected him to react to my aggression, but he just answered the question as if it hadn't been spat out, “I'm not entirely sure, to be honest, but I get the feeling you're going to help me with that.”
“I don't understand.”
“You,” he said, flicking his head in my direction, “You know things. You understand things; things my mother doesn't. How? You're not a faerie and you're sure as hell not one of them.”
I shook my head, “Human. At least, I think so.”
He grunted and nodded, “Mortal, anyway. Don't know all that much about human. Seems a made up thing that changes depending on what you're thinking that day.”
“What does that mean?”
“You call each other animals, monsters, …, not always human; always mortal.”
“That's just talk.”
“Talk?”
“Yes, of course. What else?”
“Hmmmph... I don't know. Strange creatures, mortals. You live, you die, seems half your life is about making it longer than other peoples'.”
“That's not true.”
“No?” he shrugged, “Just an observer, me.”
“Yeah, well, things aren't always what they seem, you know? Surely you're not so stupid to think that you can understand everything just by looking. You have to understand the context of things and the cultures and values and...” I ran out of words at about the time that I ran out of steam, “y'know. That stuff...”
He smiled, it was almost a sneer, but not quite. It was as if he'd spent his whole life sneering and now didn't know any other way to smile.
I watched him for a while. His awkward stance and unnatural looking facial expressions. He looked like a mannequin which had been wrongly posed and just left with the clothes hanging off his body, not quite part of the scene where he'd been placed.
“What are we going to do?” I asked him after a while.
He didn't speak for just long enough to make the silence noticable, then said, “We need to get out of here.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“What?”
“I mean, that's kind of obvious, but how? Arianwen won't let us leave.”
“Has she enchanted the castle?”
“She... I... I don't know.”
“How do you know we can't leave, then?”
“Um... Janet told me.”
“What did she say?”
I looked around the room, trying to remember the exact words. They didn't come to me, “Um... she said that Arianwen was holding us prisoner, or something like that.”
“Don't look much like a prisoner.”
“No,” I said, “I guess I don't.”
Friday, 11 March 2011
Installment 44
I turned to Janet, talking quietly, although Gwendolyn could hear perfectly well, I knew, "When were you going to tell me this?"
"I was coming to tell you. You didn't give me a chance."
"What the fuck, Janet?"
"Fi, you didn't give me a chance! You dragged me off into the maze and..." she glanced at Gwendolyn and her word grew slower and more deliberate, "It didn't seem the right time."
I turned back to Gwendolyn, "What fucking right does Arianwen have to say that we can't leave?"
Gwendolyn smiled, "She's in charge. We do as she says."
"Why?"
She continued smiling, but it started to look forced.
"I mean, who is she to you? She's not your daughter."
Her smile faded and her eyes widened. I thought for a moment she was going to hit me. Janet seemed to think the same and started to take a step between us, but Gwendolyn stood down and walked away in a hurry.
"Why did you say that?" Janet asked me.
"Well, she's not! How can she be?"
"Of course she's not, but Gwendolyn believes she is."
"But..."
"Arianwen is powerful, love. Really powerful. Gwendolyn has probably already forgotten any suggestion that she's not her daughter."
“Brin knows.”
“What?”
“Brin knows she's not his sister. He told me.”
Janet looked past me, into the distance, like she'd just had a thought, “Well, now, isn't that interesting?”
I watched her face for a little while, trying to work out what she was thinking. Her eyes shifted back to meet my gaze.
“Sarcy bitch,” I said.
She smiled, but it looked forced.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing. It's nothing.”
I gave her a look of disbelief.
Her smile faded, “I'm not sure. Maybe nothing. C'mon, let's go inside and see if we can find you something to eat. I'll send Gwendolyn into town if not.”
She walked off and I followed her, shaking my head and laughing slightly, “Fucking rabbits!”
We walked back into the castle and were greeted by Harry.
“What d'you eat?” she asked me.
“Um... most things,” I told her, “Just not meat.”
She thought about this for a while, then ran off. A few minutes later, she returned with an apple and handed it to me. I smiled and took it from her, taking a bite. It was good, just the right mixture of sweet and tart. I told her so, and her face broke into a grin and she almost skipped off.
“What was that about?” Janet asked me.
“She brought me an apple.”
“Why?”
“I dunno. Because I was hungry, I guess.”
“Weird.”
“Why weird? She's a nice kid.”
Janet shrugged, “I guess.”
I couldn't understand why she was so suspicious, but decided to just let it go. There was way too much shit going on already. I didn't want to fall out with Janet too.
I glanced around and, when I was sure we were alone, said, “What are we going to do, Janet? They'll be coming for us still.”
“Not us,” she whispered, “The pendant.”
I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and looked up to try to make them go away, “The pendant and everyone within striking distance.”
She nodded slowly, looking thoughtful, "So I guess we need to get out of striking distance."
"How?"
She shook her head, biting her lip and rubbing her eyes, "I'll think of something."
"I was coming to tell you. You didn't give me a chance."
"What the fuck, Janet?"
"Fi, you didn't give me a chance! You dragged me off into the maze and..." she glanced at Gwendolyn and her word grew slower and more deliberate, "It didn't seem the right time."
I turned back to Gwendolyn, "What fucking right does Arianwen have to say that we can't leave?"
Gwendolyn smiled, "She's in charge. We do as she says."
"Why?"
She continued smiling, but it started to look forced.
"I mean, who is she to you? She's not your daughter."
Her smile faded and her eyes widened. I thought for a moment she was going to hit me. Janet seemed to think the same and started to take a step between us, but Gwendolyn stood down and walked away in a hurry.
"Why did you say that?" Janet asked me.
"Well, she's not! How can she be?"
"Of course she's not, but Gwendolyn believes she is."
"But..."
"Arianwen is powerful, love. Really powerful. Gwendolyn has probably already forgotten any suggestion that she's not her daughter."
“Brin knows.”
“What?”
“Brin knows she's not his sister. He told me.”
Janet looked past me, into the distance, like she'd just had a thought, “Well, now, isn't that interesting?”
I watched her face for a little while, trying to work out what she was thinking. Her eyes shifted back to meet my gaze.
“Sarcy bitch,” I said.
She smiled, but it looked forced.
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing. It's nothing.”
I gave her a look of disbelief.
Her smile faded, “I'm not sure. Maybe nothing. C'mon, let's go inside and see if we can find you something to eat. I'll send Gwendolyn into town if not.”
She walked off and I followed her, shaking my head and laughing slightly, “Fucking rabbits!”
We walked back into the castle and were greeted by Harry.
“What d'you eat?” she asked me.
“Um... most things,” I told her, “Just not meat.”
She thought about this for a while, then ran off. A few minutes later, she returned with an apple and handed it to me. I smiled and took it from her, taking a bite. It was good, just the right mixture of sweet and tart. I told her so, and her face broke into a grin and she almost skipped off.
“What was that about?” Janet asked me.
“She brought me an apple.”
“Why?”
“I dunno. Because I was hungry, I guess.”
“Weird.”
“Why weird? She's a nice kid.”
Janet shrugged, “I guess.”
I couldn't understand why she was so suspicious, but decided to just let it go. There was way too much shit going on already. I didn't want to fall out with Janet too.
I glanced around and, when I was sure we were alone, said, “What are we going to do, Janet? They'll be coming for us still.”
“Not us,” she whispered, “The pendant.”
I could feel tears starting to form in my eyes, and looked up to try to make them go away, “The pendant and everyone within striking distance.”
She nodded slowly, looking thoughtful, "So I guess we need to get out of striking distance."
"How?"
She shook her head, biting her lip and rubbing her eyes, "I'll think of something."
Monday, 7 February 2011
Installment 43
We found the entrance and wandered through, the high hedges blocking out the world. It felt strangely nice to have that barrier between us and all the problems and confusion outside. I was still half-running, dragging a slightly reluctant Janet behind me. After a few minutes, some of my enthusiasm seemed to rub off on her. She let go of my hand and set off at a faster pace.
"Race you," she called, when she was already a few metres ahead of me.
"No fair," I called after her, trying to catch up, but already out of breath.
I had to stop briefly, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath, then set off again, but I'd lost sight of her. I slowed to a fast walk and called her name, then gasped as she reached out from a path off to the left, where the branches of the hedge had started to grow over and reclaim as some secret hideaway. Janet fell against the hedgerow and I fell against her, both laughing. The hedge began to disappear around me, and Janet's face began slowly to change, freckles appearing and her hair growing long.
"No," I told her, and the world stopped bending and returned to how it was, "You don't need to be her."
She stared at me confused.
"I... I want you to be you," I said, then kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded. I couldn't say why, but I felt so happy at that moment and I just wanted to share it with her. For the first time since I'd left London, I didn't want Kelly beside me. I kissed her again and this time she kissed me back, the leaves of the hedge almost swallowing us into the walls of the maze.
"Janet! Fiona!" Gwendolyn's voice came clearly through the crisp air.
I took a step back, pulling Janet with me. We were both trying not to giggle and probably looking slightly guilty as we wandered round a corner of the maze to where she was standing.
Gwendolyn smiled, "So you found our maze then? You want to be careful in there. We've had folks lost for days."
I tried, but failed to stifle my laughter. It wasn't that what she'd said was funny; more that I felt like I was 16 again and nearly getting caught by my mother kissing a friend in my bedroom.
"We have made a meal!" she said, looking very pleased with herself.
I nodded, "Cool, I'm famished."
Janet looked wary, "What have you made?"
"Rabbits!" Gwendolyn exclaimed.
"You know she's vegetarian?"
Gwendolyn stared blankly at Janet, still grinning.
"She doesn't eat animals."
I ran my hand down Janet's arm, "It's ok, I'll just eat the veg."
Gwendolyn still looked blank, but her smile had faded somewhat.
"It's just rabbit, isn't it?" Janet asked her.
"Well... yes."
Janet nodded and sighed.
"We'll go into the village and get some food there, shall we?" I asked, not wanting to cause a fuss.
"No," Gwendolyn told us, "You won't do that."
"It's fine, I don't mind," I told her.
"What Gwendolyn means," Janet replied, "Is that we are not allowed to leave the grounds of the castle. Arianwen's orders."
"Race you," she called, when she was already a few metres ahead of me.
"No fair," I called after her, trying to catch up, but already out of breath.
I had to stop briefly, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath, then set off again, but I'd lost sight of her. I slowed to a fast walk and called her name, then gasped as she reached out from a path off to the left, where the branches of the hedge had started to grow over and reclaim as some secret hideaway. Janet fell against the hedgerow and I fell against her, both laughing. The hedge began to disappear around me, and Janet's face began slowly to change, freckles appearing and her hair growing long.
"No," I told her, and the world stopped bending and returned to how it was, "You don't need to be her."
She stared at me confused.
"I... I want you to be you," I said, then kissed her lightly on the cheek.
"Are you sure?"
I nodded. I couldn't say why, but I felt so happy at that moment and I just wanted to share it with her. For the first time since I'd left London, I didn't want Kelly beside me. I kissed her again and this time she kissed me back, the leaves of the hedge almost swallowing us into the walls of the maze.
"Janet! Fiona!" Gwendolyn's voice came clearly through the crisp air.
I took a step back, pulling Janet with me. We were both trying not to giggle and probably looking slightly guilty as we wandered round a corner of the maze to where she was standing.
Gwendolyn smiled, "So you found our maze then? You want to be careful in there. We've had folks lost for days."
I tried, but failed to stifle my laughter. It wasn't that what she'd said was funny; more that I felt like I was 16 again and nearly getting caught by my mother kissing a friend in my bedroom.
"We have made a meal!" she said, looking very pleased with herself.
I nodded, "Cool, I'm famished."
Janet looked wary, "What have you made?"
"Rabbits!" Gwendolyn exclaimed.
"You know she's vegetarian?"
Gwendolyn stared blankly at Janet, still grinning.
"She doesn't eat animals."
I ran my hand down Janet's arm, "It's ok, I'll just eat the veg."
Gwendolyn still looked blank, but her smile had faded somewhat.
"It's just rabbit, isn't it?" Janet asked her.
"Well... yes."
Janet nodded and sighed.
"We'll go into the village and get some food there, shall we?" I asked, not wanting to cause a fuss.
"No," Gwendolyn told us, "You won't do that."
"It's fine, I don't mind," I told her.
"What Gwendolyn means," Janet replied, "Is that we are not allowed to leave the grounds of the castle. Arianwen's orders."
Thursday, 27 January 2011
Installment 42
I left the room and wandered down the stairs and out into the garden. The sun was shining brightly, but the February air was still crisp and cold. I took a deep breath and felt the air tingle in my throat.
"It's all a bit messy, ain't it?"
I jumped and turned to see Brin standing next to me.
"Oh, hi. I didn't see you there."
He smiled and nodded, "No, I don't suppose you did."
I turned and stood face on to him, "What have you got against me?"
He laughed. It was a smirky kind of laugh, "I ain't got nothing against you, girly. Not really," he leaned in close to my face, I could feel his breath on my cheek, "Thing is, you brought my sister back, didn't you?"
"I didn't... I didn't bring her back. She was just here."
"Because mum summoned her when she found out you had the pendant. I'd managed to keep that bitch out of the picture for 8 years, and then you show up and back she comes to get in the way of everything."
"I don't know what you mean."
"It took me years, but I managed it. I took the pendant and hid it. She just assumed that poor bastard was to blame. Get this, girly, I took it and I couldn't even see it, but I managed to get it to the car, then drove that to East Anglia and sent it over a cliff. I don't know how you even found it."
I stared at him, disbelieving what I was hearing, "I don't think you got it that far, Brin. I found it in Ogmore."
"In Ogmore?"
"Yeah, in the gift shop."
"The fucking gift shop?"
I smiled, slightly smugly, "The fucking gift shop."
"So... I..."
"So, you never got it out of Ogmore; guess you dropped it and didn't notice or something."
"And she never knew it was here?"
I shrugged, "I guess not."
He shook his head in disbelief, almost laughing.
"So," I asked, "Why were you so keen to get rid of your sister?"
"She's not my sister. She's... I dunno who she is."
"She's..." I laughed, "Nah, I don't know either. She's like Janet is. Whatever that is. An immortal?"
"Yeah, maybe, I guess. Me and ma, we're not human either, y'know?"
"So what are you?"
He shrugged, "I guess faeries is the closest way to describe it. Descended from the first Welsh folk; keepers of the castle in Ogmore, but there weren't no pendant originally."
"So, where did she come from?"
"I dunno," he said, "She just turned up one day, waving her shiny jewels around and ma got completely taken in. She seems to actually believe she's Arianwen's mother now, but me? I know better. I remember before."
"And Harry?"
"Angharad's father is mortal, as far as I know. Dunno what that makes her."
Brin looked over his shoulder, then briskly walked away from me. I turned to see where he was looking. Janet was walking toward me quickly.
"Hey love, what are you doing out here?"
"Just fancied some air," I smiled, "It's so beautiful out here."
Janet smiled, and I took her hand, "C'mon, I want to go in the maze."
She followed me, seeming slightly bewildered by my enthusiasm, but didn't mention my talking to Brin. I wasn't sure if she'd seen us talking, nor why Brin wouldn't want her to, but also, I really did want to go in the maze.
"It's all a bit messy, ain't it?"
I jumped and turned to see Brin standing next to me.
"Oh, hi. I didn't see you there."
He smiled and nodded, "No, I don't suppose you did."
I turned and stood face on to him, "What have you got against me?"
He laughed. It was a smirky kind of laugh, "I ain't got nothing against you, girly. Not really," he leaned in close to my face, I could feel his breath on my cheek, "Thing is, you brought my sister back, didn't you?"
"I didn't... I didn't bring her back. She was just here."
"Because mum summoned her when she found out you had the pendant. I'd managed to keep that bitch out of the picture for 8 years, and then you show up and back she comes to get in the way of everything."
"I don't know what you mean."
"It took me years, but I managed it. I took the pendant and hid it. She just assumed that poor bastard was to blame. Get this, girly, I took it and I couldn't even see it, but I managed to get it to the car, then drove that to East Anglia and sent it over a cliff. I don't know how you even found it."
I stared at him, disbelieving what I was hearing, "I don't think you got it that far, Brin. I found it in Ogmore."
"In Ogmore?"
"Yeah, in the gift shop."
"The fucking gift shop?"
I smiled, slightly smugly, "The fucking gift shop."
"So... I..."
"So, you never got it out of Ogmore; guess you dropped it and didn't notice or something."
"And she never knew it was here?"
I shrugged, "I guess not."
He shook his head in disbelief, almost laughing.
"So," I asked, "Why were you so keen to get rid of your sister?"
"She's not my sister. She's... I dunno who she is."
"She's..." I laughed, "Nah, I don't know either. She's like Janet is. Whatever that is. An immortal?"
"Yeah, maybe, I guess. Me and ma, we're not human either, y'know?"
"So what are you?"
He shrugged, "I guess faeries is the closest way to describe it. Descended from the first Welsh folk; keepers of the castle in Ogmore, but there weren't no pendant originally."
"So, where did she come from?"
"I dunno," he said, "She just turned up one day, waving her shiny jewels around and ma got completely taken in. She seems to actually believe she's Arianwen's mother now, but me? I know better. I remember before."
"And Harry?"
"Angharad's father is mortal, as far as I know. Dunno what that makes her."
Brin looked over his shoulder, then briskly walked away from me. I turned to see where he was looking. Janet was walking toward me quickly.
"Hey love, what are you doing out here?"
"Just fancied some air," I smiled, "It's so beautiful out here."
Janet smiled, and I took her hand, "C'mon, I want to go in the maze."
She followed me, seeming slightly bewildered by my enthusiasm, but didn't mention my talking to Brin. I wasn't sure if she'd seen us talking, nor why Brin wouldn't want her to, but also, I really did want to go in the maze.
Sunday, 16 January 2011
Installment 41
"I found it," said Arianwen, then looked at me, "Twice, it seems."
She held her hand out to me, and I stood up and shook it. She looked confused, then laughed, still holding her hand out, "Give me the pendant."
"Oh... I... I don't want to."
She looked mildly surprised, "You don't want to?"
"I... I mean, why?"
"Because it belongs to me."
Janet nudged me, "Just give it to her, Fi."
I looked down at her. She looked scared. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pendant, placing it lightly in Arianwen's hand.
"Thank you," she said, putting it in her own pocket, "You're tired," she said to me. It wasn't a question.
"Yes," I replied.
"Angharad, darling," her voice softened slightly, "Show our guests to the guest rooms in the east wing."
Harry smiled at her mother and beckoned for us to follow her.
Janet stood up, and we all walked out of the room.
Harry leant toward me as we walked and whispered, "You didn't say that you had the pendant. I thought this was just another wild goose chase, but you found it. That means she can stay this time."
I tried to smile, aware that it may be more of a grimace. Harry didn't seem to notice and almost skipped ahead of us as she led us to the east wing, and to a large room containing a big, ornate sofa and an open door to another room, which seemed to have a four-poster bed in it.
"Here you are," she said.
"Thanks," I said, still trying to smile.
Harry stood by the door, looking like she wanted to say something. She opened her mouth, but Janet interrupted, "Look, Fi's tired. They get tired, you know? Mortals."
Harry's face creased up in a confused scowl, but she left us alone.
"Bit harsh, Janet," I said, once Harry was out of earshot.
She shrugged and threw herself down on the sofa.
"What's wrong? Who is she?"
"She," Janet paused to make a face, "Is the one who was sent after Elena and I to make sure the pendant was retrieved. She was supposed to help us. Seems like she just nabbed it and kept hold of it here," she shook her head in disbelief, muttering a string of insults under her breath.
"But they'll come here, won't they? Daniel and Elena?"
Janet nodded, sheepishly, "And she'll destroy them."
"Destroy?"
"She's not like us. She has no human feelings at all. Entirely immortal. She takes what she wants and she will destroy anyone or anything that gets in her way," she seemed to be nearly in tears, "Look at what she did to that man; The man she was supposed to have loved. She used him to get what she wanted, a child, probably half-human, I don't know, then she got rid of him. Do you really believe he stole the pendant? Given how few people can even see the bloody thing?"
"But she did lose it, didn't she?"
"Yeah, that is kind of weird... and you found it here, in Ogmore?"
"Yes," I said, "In the gift shop."
She shook her head in disbelief, "In the gift shop..."
"So, what happened, do you think?"
Janet thought for a moment, the looked at me, "I just don't know. I really don't."
I laid my hands on her shoulders and rubbed them lightly, "I wish I could give you nice dreams like you do for me."
She looked up and smiled, "You know what?" she said laying a hand on top of mine, "It helps just knowing that you'd want to."
I sat down beside her, "Look, about that; I've been thinking, and I think it's ok for you to, well, use anything. Well, not the fights, but..."
She smiled and nodded, "Not the fights. Check," and she put her arm around me, and I was home watching some crappy film that Kelly had chosen solely because Guinevere Turner was in it. I didn't see the appeal, personally, but I was happy to watch any old shite if I was with Kelly. We were slap bang in the middle of those few weeks at the beginning of the relationship where everything she did was endearing and we just had to be holding hands or touching knees under the table or just somehow connected to each other at all times. I still smiled every time I thought of her and still couldn't believe how lucky I was. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder and turned slightly, to put my legs over the edge of the sofa. She stroked my hair absent-mindedly as we watched the film. Well, she watched the film. I had my eyes closed, revelling in the feel of the touch of her fingertips on my scalp. I could feel my head getting heavier and knew I was close to falling asleep. I fought it, wanting to let the moment last longer, but soon, I couldn't fight it anymore.
I awoke with the sun shining brightly onto my face, still leaning on Janet. I squinted as I sat up. Harry stood by the curtains, grinning.
"Mum wants to see you," she said.
"Hmmm? Ok," I said.
Harry shook her head, "Just her," she said pointing at Janet.
Janet nodded solemnly and followed Harry out of the room. I shook my head from side to side, trying to shake myself fully into consciousness. I rubbed my eyes and walked over to the window. The grounds of the castle were magnificent. They seemed to go on forever. About 100 metres from the castle, I could see a large labyrinth of evergreen hedges, surrounded by vast lawns and flowerbeds, and a small shubbery a little closer in. I threw open the window and took a deep breath. The air was fresh and smelled of cut grass and pine needles.
She held her hand out to me, and I stood up and shook it. She looked confused, then laughed, still holding her hand out, "Give me the pendant."
"Oh... I... I don't want to."
She looked mildly surprised, "You don't want to?"
"I... I mean, why?"
"Because it belongs to me."
Janet nudged me, "Just give it to her, Fi."
I looked down at her. She looked scared. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the pendant, placing it lightly in Arianwen's hand.
"Thank you," she said, putting it in her own pocket, "You're tired," she said to me. It wasn't a question.
"Yes," I replied.
"Angharad, darling," her voice softened slightly, "Show our guests to the guest rooms in the east wing."
Harry smiled at her mother and beckoned for us to follow her.
Janet stood up, and we all walked out of the room.
Harry leant toward me as we walked and whispered, "You didn't say that you had the pendant. I thought this was just another wild goose chase, but you found it. That means she can stay this time."
I tried to smile, aware that it may be more of a grimace. Harry didn't seem to notice and almost skipped ahead of us as she led us to the east wing, and to a large room containing a big, ornate sofa and an open door to another room, which seemed to have a four-poster bed in it.
"Here you are," she said.
"Thanks," I said, still trying to smile.
Harry stood by the door, looking like she wanted to say something. She opened her mouth, but Janet interrupted, "Look, Fi's tired. They get tired, you know? Mortals."
Harry's face creased up in a confused scowl, but she left us alone.
"Bit harsh, Janet," I said, once Harry was out of earshot.
She shrugged and threw herself down on the sofa.
"What's wrong? Who is she?"
"She," Janet paused to make a face, "Is the one who was sent after Elena and I to make sure the pendant was retrieved. She was supposed to help us. Seems like she just nabbed it and kept hold of it here," she shook her head in disbelief, muttering a string of insults under her breath.
"But they'll come here, won't they? Daniel and Elena?"
Janet nodded, sheepishly, "And she'll destroy them."
"Destroy?"
"She's not like us. She has no human feelings at all. Entirely immortal. She takes what she wants and she will destroy anyone or anything that gets in her way," she seemed to be nearly in tears, "Look at what she did to that man; The man she was supposed to have loved. She used him to get what she wanted, a child, probably half-human, I don't know, then she got rid of him. Do you really believe he stole the pendant? Given how few people can even see the bloody thing?"
"But she did lose it, didn't she?"
"Yeah, that is kind of weird... and you found it here, in Ogmore?"
"Yes," I said, "In the gift shop."
She shook her head in disbelief, "In the gift shop..."
"So, what happened, do you think?"
Janet thought for a moment, the looked at me, "I just don't know. I really don't."
I laid my hands on her shoulders and rubbed them lightly, "I wish I could give you nice dreams like you do for me."
She looked up and smiled, "You know what?" she said laying a hand on top of mine, "It helps just knowing that you'd want to."
I sat down beside her, "Look, about that; I've been thinking, and I think it's ok for you to, well, use anything. Well, not the fights, but..."
She smiled and nodded, "Not the fights. Check," and she put her arm around me, and I was home watching some crappy film that Kelly had chosen solely because Guinevere Turner was in it. I didn't see the appeal, personally, but I was happy to watch any old shite if I was with Kelly. We were slap bang in the middle of those few weeks at the beginning of the relationship where everything she did was endearing and we just had to be holding hands or touching knees under the table or just somehow connected to each other at all times. I still smiled every time I thought of her and still couldn't believe how lucky I was. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder and turned slightly, to put my legs over the edge of the sofa. She stroked my hair absent-mindedly as we watched the film. Well, she watched the film. I had my eyes closed, revelling in the feel of the touch of her fingertips on my scalp. I could feel my head getting heavier and knew I was close to falling asleep. I fought it, wanting to let the moment last longer, but soon, I couldn't fight it anymore.
I awoke with the sun shining brightly onto my face, still leaning on Janet. I squinted as I sat up. Harry stood by the curtains, grinning.
"Mum wants to see you," she said.
"Hmmm? Ok," I said.
Harry shook her head, "Just her," she said pointing at Janet.
Janet nodded solemnly and followed Harry out of the room. I shook my head from side to side, trying to shake myself fully into consciousness. I rubbed my eyes and walked over to the window. The grounds of the castle were magnificent. They seemed to go on forever. About 100 metres from the castle, I could see a large labyrinth of evergreen hedges, surrounded by vast lawns and flowerbeds, and a small shubbery a little closer in. I threw open the window and took a deep breath. The air was fresh and smelled of cut grass and pine needles.
Monday, 10 January 2011
Installment 40
I realised Janet was gazing at me, and probably had been for some time.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just looking at you.”
“Why?”
She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, “Because you're beautiful.”
I grimaced, “You're weird.”
“And you need to learn to take a compliment.”
“Whatever,” I could feel my face getting red and tried to change the subject, “So, it'll be weird going to the guesthouse and Tim not being there.”
“We're not going to the guesthouse.”
“Where will we stay then?”
“In the castle, of course.”
“Wow. I've never slept in a castle before. That's pretty cool.”
Janet smiled, “It's just a big house, Fi.”
“I know, but still... It's a huge, pretty house that's really old.”
“Fair enough,” she said smirking.
“What will we do when we get there?”
Janet shrugged, “Wait, I guess. Get ready to fight, or to run.”
“I've had enough of running,” I said, all the fear and uncertainty gone, “I don't even know how long it is since I left London, but I've been going too long, and it's time to stop running.”
She smiled, looking almost proud, “That's my girl,” she said, “You're braver than you think, but if it's a fight we can't win, then we run. Understand?”
I nodded, somehow knowing that it wouldn't come to that.
The castle loomed over the village. I hadn't noticed it the first time I came to Ogmore. I had been so caught up in what had happened with Kelly, that nothing else seemed to matter. Now, the whole world had changed for me and Kelly was nothing more than a series of memories brought to life for my pleasure and entertainment.
I could feel the excitement Gwendolyn was feeling. It was the excitement of a woman who's been away from home altogether too long. Brin also seemed energised by our proximity to the castle. Harry continued playing games on her phone, not even seeming to notice that we'd arrived in Ogmore. Every so often, she would let out an exclamation of victory or frustration, but didn't seem interested in interacting with us at all. I wondered how this young girl managed to just shut out all the drama that surrounded her and carry on as if nothing was wrong. I guess if all your life is weird, weird is normal.
The car pulled into the grounds of the castle and we all piled out. Brin opened the boot and handed bags to Harry and Gwendolyn, and threw a large backpack over his shoulder. Janet and I followed as they led the way up some steps to a big wooden door. I felt like I should be handing over money to the national trust, but when we walked through the doorway, the decor and furniture was surprisingly modern. The walls were stone, of course, but instead of the renaissance paintings of dead ancestors that I would usually expect, there was a large abstract expressionist painting, and then a collection of postcards and photographs. The opposite wall held a large mirror, reflecting the painting back. It was strange being so utterly surrounded by the strange shapes in primary colours.
The family dropped their bags in the hallway and led us through to a living room area. Harry launched herself into a big armchair and resumed the game on her phone. I felt tired and nauseous and more than a little worried about what was going to happen. My stomach gurgled and I realised that the nausea was probably really hunger.
"Um... would I be able to get something to eat?" I asked timidly.
Gwendolyn and Brin turned and looked at me with confused looks on their faces, as if I'd asked something completely ridiculous.
Janet reached into her bag and handed me a small packet of crackers, then turned to the others, "Mortal, remember?"
Brin grunted disapprovingly.
I opened the crackers and wolfed them down. Janet watched me, looking sad.
"I'm sorry I don't have anything more appetising. I picked them up at a motorway service station a couple of days ago, but didn't think to get you anything better on the way here."
I chewed up the remainder of the cracker in my mouth, and swallowed it before I should have, leaving a small piece stuck in my throat, "It's ok," I told her, "You've had bigger things on your mind."
She smiled and put her hand on mine, "Feeling better?"
I nodded.
"I'll go into town later and get something more substantial."
I smiled, "Thanks."
A woman walked down the stairs. She wore dark trousers, and a long flowing shirt of crimson silk. Her hair was a deep auburn and fell down to her waist. Harry looked up from her phone, then dropped it and leapt out of the chair.
"Mum!" she ran over and threw her arms around the woman. Arianwen, I assumed that's who it was, smiled and kissed the top of the girl's head holding her close.
Gwendolyn turned and smiled at her daughter. Brin's face stayed grim and he merely nodded at her.
I went to stand, but Janet, grabbed my hand and stopped me.
"What?" I whispered.
"Just wait, darling," she responded.
I shot her a quizzical look, but the worry on her face stopped me from arguing. She was looking down, trying not to make eye contact with Arianwen. It didn't work. Arianwen let go of her daughter and walked over to where we were sitting and stood in front of Janet.
Janet looked up and smiled weakly, "So, you found it then?"
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing. Just looking at you.”
“Why?”
She smiled and kissed me on the cheek, “Because you're beautiful.”
I grimaced, “You're weird.”
“And you need to learn to take a compliment.”
“Whatever,” I could feel my face getting red and tried to change the subject, “So, it'll be weird going to the guesthouse and Tim not being there.”
“We're not going to the guesthouse.”
“Where will we stay then?”
“In the castle, of course.”
“Wow. I've never slept in a castle before. That's pretty cool.”
Janet smiled, “It's just a big house, Fi.”
“I know, but still... It's a huge, pretty house that's really old.”
“Fair enough,” she said smirking.
“What will we do when we get there?”
Janet shrugged, “Wait, I guess. Get ready to fight, or to run.”
“I've had enough of running,” I said, all the fear and uncertainty gone, “I don't even know how long it is since I left London, but I've been going too long, and it's time to stop running.”
She smiled, looking almost proud, “That's my girl,” she said, “You're braver than you think, but if it's a fight we can't win, then we run. Understand?”
I nodded, somehow knowing that it wouldn't come to that.
The castle loomed over the village. I hadn't noticed it the first time I came to Ogmore. I had been so caught up in what had happened with Kelly, that nothing else seemed to matter. Now, the whole world had changed for me and Kelly was nothing more than a series of memories brought to life for my pleasure and entertainment.
I could feel the excitement Gwendolyn was feeling. It was the excitement of a woman who's been away from home altogether too long. Brin also seemed energised by our proximity to the castle. Harry continued playing games on her phone, not even seeming to notice that we'd arrived in Ogmore. Every so often, she would let out an exclamation of victory or frustration, but didn't seem interested in interacting with us at all. I wondered how this young girl managed to just shut out all the drama that surrounded her and carry on as if nothing was wrong. I guess if all your life is weird, weird is normal.
The car pulled into the grounds of the castle and we all piled out. Brin opened the boot and handed bags to Harry and Gwendolyn, and threw a large backpack over his shoulder. Janet and I followed as they led the way up some steps to a big wooden door. I felt like I should be handing over money to the national trust, but when we walked through the doorway, the decor and furniture was surprisingly modern. The walls were stone, of course, but instead of the renaissance paintings of dead ancestors that I would usually expect, there was a large abstract expressionist painting, and then a collection of postcards and photographs. The opposite wall held a large mirror, reflecting the painting back. It was strange being so utterly surrounded by the strange shapes in primary colours.
The family dropped their bags in the hallway and led us through to a living room area. Harry launched herself into a big armchair and resumed the game on her phone. I felt tired and nauseous and more than a little worried about what was going to happen. My stomach gurgled and I realised that the nausea was probably really hunger.
"Um... would I be able to get something to eat?" I asked timidly.
Gwendolyn and Brin turned and looked at me with confused looks on their faces, as if I'd asked something completely ridiculous.
Janet reached into her bag and handed me a small packet of crackers, then turned to the others, "Mortal, remember?"
Brin grunted disapprovingly.
I opened the crackers and wolfed them down. Janet watched me, looking sad.
"I'm sorry I don't have anything more appetising. I picked them up at a motorway service station a couple of days ago, but didn't think to get you anything better on the way here."
I chewed up the remainder of the cracker in my mouth, and swallowed it before I should have, leaving a small piece stuck in my throat, "It's ok," I told her, "You've had bigger things on your mind."
She smiled and put her hand on mine, "Feeling better?"
I nodded.
"I'll go into town later and get something more substantial."
I smiled, "Thanks."
A woman walked down the stairs. She wore dark trousers, and a long flowing shirt of crimson silk. Her hair was a deep auburn and fell down to her waist. Harry looked up from her phone, then dropped it and leapt out of the chair.
"Mum!" she ran over and threw her arms around the woman. Arianwen, I assumed that's who it was, smiled and kissed the top of the girl's head holding her close.
Gwendolyn turned and smiled at her daughter. Brin's face stayed grim and he merely nodded at her.
I went to stand, but Janet, grabbed my hand and stopped me.
"What?" I whispered.
"Just wait, darling," she responded.
I shot her a quizzical look, but the worry on her face stopped me from arguing. She was looking down, trying not to make eye contact with Arianwen. It didn't work. Arianwen let go of her daughter and walked over to where we were sitting and stood in front of Janet.
Janet looked up and smiled weakly, "So, you found it then?"
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