Installment 23

After what must have been an hour or so, the cramp in my lower back got the better of me and I had to sit up a little. I tried to stay in the footwell, but it was awkward and uncomfortable, so I sat on the back seat, and leant down in the hope that, even if the pendant wouldn't hide me from my accidental chauffeur, the headrest would. We were on the motorway, and I saw a sign that we were heading toward Manchester. Manchester would be a decent enough place to hide out. I knew a few people there. Maybe they'd put me up. Of course, they were Kelly's friends too, so maybe they'd be best avoided too. I decided I'd just wait and see where I ended up. Anywhere further from Janet and Elena was better.

The pendant felt heavy around my neck. I began to wonder how it was linked to Janet and Elena. It clearly was in some way. The woman in the shop wouldn't let me take it without their say so. Maybe it protected me from them. Maybe it would lead them to me. It was powerful, certainly, and I felt like I needed to know more about it. I just didn't know how I would go about finding that out.

The car shook a little as it drove over a bit of bumpy road. I shrunk lower into my seat. Logically, there was no reason why the driver was more likely to look behind him because of a bumpy road, but it just felt the right thing to do. I was still uncertain of the pendant's ability to hide me. I should test it, I thought, but I didn't really think that the motorway was the right place to do so. On the other hand, it's not as if I could be thrown out of the car. Perhaps, if he saw me, I could pretend that I was hijacking his car and make him drive me to... to where? Somewhere anyway.

Cautiously, I pulled the pendant over my head and put it back in my pocket. I remained low in my seat and hoped he wouldn't look round. When we stopped, I though, I'd put it back on, then get out of the car, and try talking to him to see if he could see me. And if he saw me before then, he'd have to stop the car before he could do anything about it, so I'd jump out and run away.

***

He left the motorway several junctions north of Manchester. I looked out of the window and saw signs for Blackpool and Preston. I was fairly sure I could get lost in Blackpool quite easily, but was that what I wanted? To get lost? Perhaps the better move would be to make my way to a police station and turn myself in. It would all be over soon if I did that. Prison would be tough, but at least there'd be an element of certainty about my future, which was greatly missing from my life at the moment.

I felt calmer, having decided what to do. Turn myself in. Plead insanity or that I was driven to it, or some such bullshit. Maybe even the truth, that it was an accident. I could skip over the part where the accident was who I poisoned, not that I poisoned. No, that's not true. I'd thought about killing her; I had decided not to. It's not the same as murder. Having a slightly sick mind and bad temper is not nice, but it's not illegal either. Running was a bad idea. I should have stayed. I should have seen it through properly.

***

And so, my future seemed more certain. Not perfect, but not running from two people who weren't even really people and had both lied to me about what was happening and were supposed to deliver me to god-knows-who for god-knows-what reason. Prison was preferable, and it was surely unlikely that I'd get a huge sentence anyway. I could cope with a couple of years, couldn't I? Maybe I'd join the prison gym and get really fit or study while I was inside and come out with a whole new set of opportunities. The more I thought about it, the more appealing it seemed. Hey diddly dee, it's prison life for me.

The journey stopped being along such straight roads and started twisting and turning more. Conscious that the driver would be looking in the mirrors more, I slid back down into the footwell, but did not cover myself over with the newspapers this time. Maybe he'd see me when he got out of the car; I didn't care anymore. My mind was clear and I felt strangely light and free.

My eyes grew heavy after a short while and I realised that I had barely slept in the last few days. I half-heartedly willed myself to stay awake, but knew that it wasn't what I really wanted. I let myself drift off, with the thought in my head that I would re-awaken before we stopped anywhere.

***

I was back in London, in our flat, watching Kelly sleeping. Her face looked so peaceful. I leant down and kissed her cheek, then crawled into the bed beside her, my arm around her, my hand resting lightly on her belly. I breathed in the scent of her hair and felt completely content.

I heard a noise and sat up to see that the side of our bedroom had been cut away and filled with theatre style seats. They were mostly empty, but about 10 people sat watching. Kelly sat up too, then took my hand, and guided me to stand in front of the bed. She took a bow, then Janet, Elena, Tim and Errol walked into the room from the sides of what was now a stage. Janet took hold of my other hand, with Elena taking Kelly's, and Tim and Errol standing on either end. Both my hands were pulled up above my head, then down again as we all took a bow for the steadily growing audience. By now, there were close to a hundred people watching and applauding.