Installment 49

I woke, surprised that I'd slept at all. Janet wasn't there. I felt relieved, then guilty, then just confused again. I tried to remember details of how things had been. It was like I'd been drunk the whole time and could only remember snatches of what had happened. I was fairly sure that wasn't true. I'd been working; I'd been doing normal stuff; I just couldn't remember properly. I tried more recent stuff. I thought about when I'd been in Ogmore before. I closed my eyes and pictured the scene.

I had walked into the pub; Errol was sitting at the bar. He smiled his half smile that I'd taken for a sneer the first time I'd met him, but knew by then that he was genuinely pleased to see me.
“Afternoon,” he said and waved his hand at the barman.
The barman poured a pint of cider and placed it in front of me at the bar. I smiled and sat down at the bar, sipping at the dry scrumpy. I didn't really like it all that much, but they brought it in from Somerset and insisted it was far superior to anything I truly enjoyed. I'd grown to like it a bit over the days I'd been coming to meet Errol.
“How are you today, sir?” I asked.
He shook his head, “Forgotten my name again? People only call me sir when they can't think what else to call me.”
“Maybe I just think of you as a gentleman.”
He grunted, “Is that is?”
“Definitely.”
He smiled again, his teeth showing slightly this time, “So, what news, townie?”
I shrugged, “I dunno. Still much the same. She's gone before I wake up and returns before dinner. We eat and sleep and that's about it.”
“You don't talk?”
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
“What about?”
I tried to remember, but eventually just shake my head and apologise.

I blinked a few times. It wasn't that we'd drunk too much wine at dinner; I was fairly sure of that. It was like the minute we'd sat down to eat, I'd gone into a daze. I sighed, annoyed at my own inability to remember things, and confused by everything I was thinking and feeling. How could I be so useless? My thoughts were interrupted by my stomach growling. I'd almost forgotten how hungry I was. Harry had gone scavenging and found me some more fruit, but that was all I'd had since we arrived. I sighed, stood up and stomped out of the room.