Installment number 1

“Dead.”
“Shit.”
“Shall I tell the girlfriend?”
“No. I should do it. Not fair to switch up on the girl now.”
“Yeah. Thanks, man.”
“No worries.”

As the policeman started over to where I had been sitting, I legged it out of the hospital. I imagined their confusion when I was gone and subsequent manhunt once they realised what had happened. Quickly calculating stuff in my mind on my way home, I reckoned I had a couple of days before they realised it was poison. I could be well gone by then, but where?

America had its appeal - easy to get lost in a country of a billion people – but if I moved overland there'd be less of a paper trail. Surely someone could get lost in the UK without too much trouble. I pulled over at a cash machine and withdrew my daily limit on all my cards. I could either do the same tomorrow or risk actually going into the bank. If I went in, it'd be harder to run if they were already on to me. If I didn't, I couldn't withdraw as much and would have much less cash. Either way, I had to leave London tomorrow and not use my cards to withdraw money again.

I drove home on autopilot, cursing the traffic, but more out of habit than out of actual frustration. I pulled up outside our flat and took the steps two at a time up to the front door. I almost called out as I opened the door, then remembered that Kelly wasn't there because I had accidentally murdered her. I forced myself not to think about that yet.

I grabbed a suitcase from the cupboard and filled it with clothes and other paraphernalia. I shoved my laptop in there, then grabbed it back out again. I logged onto my work email and fired off an email to my boss:

“Hi Neil
Really sorry about the short notice, but there's been a family emergency and I have to head out of town for a couple of days. I'll update you when I know more.
Regards
Fi”

That would keep work from worrying for a day or two, and by then they'd no doubt have been contacted by the police anyway. I wonder how they'd react. Maybe they'd not be surprised. Perhaps I generally act like exactly the kind of person who kills their girlfriend. I don't think I do, though. I'm sure they'll be surprised. Surely?

I sent another email to my sister, and to my best friend, pretty much saying that I needed some head space and was headed out of town for a day or two. I didn't mention Kelly. I figured if they knew she was dead, they would think that was why and if they didn't, they'd assume we'd had a fight. It was easier not to second guess them. Keep it simple. That's what they always say in the spy movies and the gangster movies. Keep it simple. Easy to remember and easy to explain. In many cases this means that it should be as close to the truth as possible, but in my case, I think leaving it to their imaginations was best.

Ok, anything else? I didn't have any doctor or dentist appointments to cancel, nor any social engagements. I looked at my mobile phone, saw that I'd had no messages while I was in the hospital, then went through methodically deleting every message and number from it. After that, I removed the sim card and attempted to snap it in half. When I could not do so, I used a kitchen knife to bend the contacts out of shape and then threw it in the bin.

I threw the mobile phone in my suitcase, thinking that I'd pick up a new sim somewhere along the way. Or maybe I should pick up several. I'd seen on “The Wire” that they traced individual mobile phone numbers and were allowed to tap them, but it was harder for them to trace if the number kept changing. I tried to decide if I were being hyper-paranoid or not and decided I didn't care.

Once all my packing was done, I lay on the bed, wrapped in Kelly's jacket and cried.