Installment number 4

It was only 10pm when I woke. I glanced at the flyer the woman had given me. The club didn't open for another hour. I knew I would be too wired to sleep now, so decided to go out instead. No alcohol, though. I needed to have a clear head in the morning, whether I stayed here or moved on.

It was exactly the sort of place that Kelly loved and I hated. The music was disgustingly loud and bass drum-heavy and the lights flashed in various colours in time to the “four to the floor” beat. I glanced around for the woman from the pub before realising that I'd never find her and I wasn't all that sure I wanted to anyway.

I went to the bar and ordered a coke. The woman next to me smiled and said something I didn't hear.
“Sorry? I can't hear you.”
She leaned closer, “You driving?”
“Oh... no.”
“But you're not drinking?”
“No,” it seemed a strange thing to ask a stranger.

She smiled and nodded, then walked away. I stood by the bar sipping my coke. She walked back about 10 minutes later and grabbed my hand. I thought she was going to kiss me for a moment, but then she walked away, leaving a small wrap of paper in my hand. She looked back over her shoulder and smiled at my confused look, then tilted her head, indicating a quieter spot where she and her friends were sitting. I half-nodded to show I understood, then grabbed my drink and wandered to the toilets.

Once there, I unwrapped the paper which contained 2 small tablets and a note saying “Complimentary gift because you're cute.” I gazed at the tablets for a few moments, then knocked them back and swallowed hard. I don't know why; it just felt like the right thing to do. They stuck in my throat a little, so I swallowed again. This time they went down fully. I left the cubicle and washed my hands, then wandered over to where the woman and her friends were sitting.

“Hi.”
“Oh, hey,” she responded, drawing out each word and smiling at me. I couldn't place her accent. It wasn't Welsh, anyway.
“Um... mind if I join you?”
She giggled slightly, “We'd be a bit upset if you didn't, sweetheart,” then she shuffled up so that there was space for me to sit between her and her friend, but not much.
“Ah... thanks,” I said, squeezing in.
“So, you're new,” said the woman, “I'm Elena.”
“Fi,” I said, “Fiona, that is.”
“Well, Fi-Fiona, welcome to our party. This is Janet,” and then she listed off a lot of names that I didn't remember even a couple of seconds later. Janet interested me, though. I can't quite say why, but she did.

As they were introduced, each person welcomed me in a way that seemed significantly more eyeing me up than actually pleased to have me there. I dreaded the moment when one of them asked me what brought me to Cardiff. 'Well, I poisoned my girlfriend and now she's dead and I'm on the run from the police, but I didn't mean to poison her, I meant to poison the woman I think she was having an affair with and I had even decided that was a bad idea after all, so that's all ok, isn't it? Isn't it?'

No-one asked me. No-one cared. Or else, no-one considered that there was any reason to be in Cardiff other than to show up to their party and amuse them. I could live with that, I decided. Someone brought a bottle of champagne to the table and some tequila shots. I made a half hearted attempt to refuse both, but was egged on by the others, and by the rising feeling of euphoria in me, which I assume was chemically induced.

After a while, we all danced. We owned the dancefloor. No-one even tried to usurp us. Sometimes we stood all in a circle and waved our hands maniacally in the air, other times, it seemed like I was almost slow dancing with one or other of the women, except that the music wasn't slow. The beat came fast and heavy. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. I could feel my heart beating in time. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. It was the rhythm in me. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. The rhythm in every one of us. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. The rhythm in my heart. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. The rhythm in my brain. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. The rhythm in my soul. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. And as I danced close to Janet, I could feel the rhythm deep down in me, inside me. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. Dooph dooph dooph dooph. Dooph dooph dooph dooph.