Installment number 6

I awoke in Janet's bed. My head was on fire and my mouth was dry.

“Morning, babe,” she said.
I contemplated pretending to still be asleep, but decided that was stupid, “Ah, hey.”
“Sleep well?”
“Um... I have no idea. It's all a bit vague after a while.”
She smiled kindly and nodded, “Yeah, it gets like that, sometimes. Seems to me you had something you needed out of your system. Sometimes, letting go is the only way to do that.”
“Hmmm... maybe.”
“Tea?”
I sighed with pleasure, “Tea would be lovely. Just black, no sugar, thanks.”
“Sure,” she said and wandered off to make tea.

I looked around me. The room was beautifully decorated, but very heavy. The walls were a deep crimson red with dark yellow trim. It looked almost regal. I had always favoured light colours and minimal décor, but could certainly appreciate other tastes.

Janet returned to the room and handed me a cup of tea, putting her own on the side.

“What time is it?” I asked.
“Early yet, sweetheart, only about 8:30. I'm just an early riser.”
I nodded, trying to calculate when I would need to leave in order to get back to the hotel for check out time, then realised I didn't have the necessary information, “Where am I?”
Janet laughed slightly, “You're at my place.”
“Yeah, but where is that?”
“Oh, pretty close to the city. I can drive you back if you're in a hurry to get away.”
“Not hugely. I need to check out of my hotel by 12, or else book another night.”
“Plenty of time for a lazy morning and breakfast then?”
“Sounds good,” I replied, before really thinking what the implications of a 'lazy morning' were.

She climbed into the bed beside me and put her head on my shoulder. My automatic responses from the days before Kelly kicked in, and I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head.

***

Janet drove me back to the hotel and we made the ridiculous farce of me promising to call her if I stayed in town and her pretending to believe me. I considered for a moment checking out, then decided that I was still in no fit state to drive. I checked in for an extra night and fell asleep face down on my bed.

I awoke with a start when I heard someone in my room. I moved slowly off the side of the bed, and hid down beside it, ready to jump out at them if necessary. The footsteps seemed to stop and then the curtains were quickly drawn back. I let out an involuntary yelp, then scrambled under the bed.

“Hello?” said a woman's voice, “Who's there? Oh, 'ave they messed up my schedule again? I'm sorry. They said this room was vacated. So sorry.”

And she left. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Should I take her at her word, or was she here to see what my reaction would be. Just how bad was my situation? I looked at the clock, 6:30 – I'd slept all day. I decided to do the unthinkable. I called Janet.

“Hi Janet, it's Fi, from, um... from last night?”
“Hey Fi. How's things?”
“Um... yeah, not so bad. I decided to stay in Cardiff and, well, you said to let you know if I did, so, um... I am.”
“Ah cool. Listen, hon, can I call you back? I'm a bit busy at the moment.”
“Oh, sure, yeah, that's fine.”

She took down the number for the hotel and my room number. I wondered briefly if she was also with the police, but decided that it was probably narcotic induced paranoia, or something. Maybe I just needed some food.

I glanced through the hotel menu and the pizza flyers and called for a pizza to be delivered. A large vegetarian for a large vegetarian. Oh, how that joke had amused Kelly at first. Granted, she got sick of it fairly quickly, but the first few weeks when they were in their phase of everything the other did being adorable, she giggled sweetly every time it was said. 'We really must have eaten a lot of pizza those first few weeks,' I thought. New lovers, too smitten to cook, maybe? Or maybe I'm just remembering one time over and over.

The pizza arrived along with a can of diet coke. A running joke between my friends and I, that I'd eat a whole pizza, then have a diet coke to go with it. I just prefer the taste, to be honest.

I was halfway through the pizza when Janet returned my call.

“Hi Fi, it's Janet.”
“Hey, how goes?”
“Ah, not bad. Sorry about that. I had to calm Elena down. She was in a foul mood. Not sure why.”
“Right.”
“So, you're still in Cardiff, presumably for some reason?”
“Not really. Just wasn't sure I was up to driving when I got back to the hotel, so seemed prudent to stay another night. I should head off in the morning.”
“Right,” she sounded slightly disappointed.
“About last night...”
“Nothing happened, Fi.”
“What?”
“You came back, we kissed, then you fell asleep. Nothing happened. Don't worry.”
“I... I just meant...”
“I know what you meant. It's ok. I'm used to it.”
“No, I... I'm kind of involved with someone,” I didn't know how better to describe it.
“I know – you told me. You were calling her...”
Her sentence ended in a mumble. I guess I was talking in my sleep.
“I'm sorry,” I said.
“It's ok. Look, do you want to meet for dinner? Just as friends.”
I glanced at the half of the huge pizza on my bed, “Um... yeah, sure. That sounds good.”

We made arrangements to meet later that evening and I downed the end of the can of diet coke and stowed the pizza for late night snacking or breakfast and I jumped in the shower. Running my fingers through my hair, I remembered Kelly talking to me last night in my dreams. I wondered if she'd visit me again tonight. Half of me really hoped she would and half of me dreaded it. What if she came back angry. Shit – what if she saw me with Janet last night and got the wrong idea. I rinsed myself off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body and a second one round my hair.

I laid down on the bed for a moment and closed my eyes, then awoke to the sound of the phone.

“Oh shit!” I picked up the receiver, “Hello?”
“Hi Fi,” Janet sounded disappointed.
“Janet, I'm so sorry. I just fell asleep. I will be out in, like, 5 minutes and with you in 15.”
“I'm downstairs, Fi.”
“Um...”
“Just meet me in the hotel bar.”
“Ah, ok. Yeah, sure.”

I dressed and brushed my hair, then wandered downstairs. Janet was sat at the bar with a martini in her hand. It amused me slighly. I didn't realise anyone actually drank martinis. I walked up and stood beside her.

"Hey"
"Hi Fi. Well rested?"
"Ah, yeah, sorry about that."
"No problem. Pretty big night last night."
"Yeah, it was that. I don't remember a great deal."
"I'm not surprised. What did you take?"
"What did I take? Um... I don't know. Elena gave it to me. I kind of thought everyone was..." I trailed off realising how stupid I sounded.
"Elena gave it to you? You knew her from before?"
"No, I just... um... I don't know why I... I... it just seemed the right thing to do."
"Like she had some kind of power over you?"
"Like what? No... I don't think that's it at all. Just, like... I dunno. Like it had been a really shitty day and someone handed me a 'forget it all' pill. It seemed right to take it."
"Hmmm..." Janet looked thoughtful.
"What?"
"Nothing. Just wondering something."
"About Elena?"
"Yeah, kind of."
"What about her?"
"Hmmmm? Oh, nothing important. Let's go somewhere and eat. I'm starving."

We stepped out onto the main street and wandered up and down looking for somewhere that looked sufficiently appetising. Nowhere particularly appealed to me, partly because I was still full from the pizza. Eventually, Janet chose an Indian restaurant and we sat at a table near the back nibbling on poppadoms.

"So, do you think you'll stay in Cardiff a little longer?" Janet asked me, casually.
"I don't know. I didn't intend to, but I feel kind of right here."
"Kind of right? Like how?"
"Like, it makes sense for me to be here. I can't explain."
"Like it made sense to take the pill Elena gave you?"
"Janet..."
"Just asking."
"I guess a bit like that. I don't know why it seems right, and it doesn't make much sense, but it does seem right, yeah."
"Fi, can I tell you something?"
"Um... ok."
"I think I know the reason. I think it's kind of to do with me."
"Janet, I thought I explained..."
"Not like that. Ok, can you suspend disbelief for about 5 to 10 minutes?"
"Ooookaaay..." I looked at her suspiciously.
"Look, I'm going to tell you some stuff and it's going to sound pretty out there. You may not believe me, but everything I tell you is the truth."
"Right..." I looked sideways, "Hang on," I said calling the waiter over, "Can I have a pint of lager, please? Thanks."
Janet shook her head to indicate that she didn't want another drink and stared at me.
"I find stuff that's pretty out there easier to deal with if I have beer."
"Right," she paused while the waiter brought the beer over and then continued, "Do you believe in angels?"