Installment number 14

I awoke a few hours later to knocking at the door. I put the pillow over my head and tried to ignore it, but it persisted. After a few minutes of it, I threw some clothes on and went to the door. I opened it a crack and saw Tim standing there.

I sighed, "Hi Tim."
"Morning. How are you?"
"Tired. What do you want?"
"We should go."
"It's early, Tim."
He looked at his watch, "It's 10:30."
"I don't care. I'm tired, and I already got woken twice in the night."
"Okay, well, I'll be on the front desk. Come find me when you're ready."
"Okay, Tim. See you later."


I climbed back into bed, half expecting Janet to show up next, but she didn't. I didn't get back to sleep. After 15 minutes of trying, I got up and dressed. I put on the kettle and made myself a coffee. I wasn't keen on instant, but I needed the caffeine hit. I blew over the top of the cup to try to cool it down and still burned my lip when I drunk it.

***

I stepped out of the room and headed towards reception. I let out a gasp when I felt a hand around my wrist and was pulled into Elena's room.

"What the hell?"
"You said you'd come and see me. I was waiting for you. I have something to show you."
"What?"
She grabbed a handful of newspapers and opened one on the page that Errol and Tim showed me.
"I've seen this. Errol and Tim showed me it."
"I know," she closed the newspaper. The front page read, "Women's Institute Raffle raises over £500."
I shrugged.
"Look at it. Why would Kelly post an ad in this paper? In the Ogmore-by-Sea Gazette. She doesn't know where you are. I mean, even if she were alive, she wouldn't."
Elena laid out a few other newspapers: the Evening Standard, East London Life, even a tiny article in the Guardian, all saying the same thing. "East London woman poisons lover, then goes on the run." I looked through them in disbelief.
"But... they said..."
"They lied."
My vision started to blur a little as my eyes welled up.
"Fi, I'm sorry. I really am, but Kelly is dead. I don't know why they did this."

I sat down on her bed, put my head in my hands and wept loudly. I hadn't felt this bad since I left London. Elena sat next to me and put an arm around me. I shrugged it off and turned away from her. I knew Kelly was dead. Until yesterday, I knew for sure. Even when they'd shown me advert, I knew it couldn't be true. And I knew I'd killed her, and I knew I'd gone on the run, but seeing it in black and white like that hurt so much.

"You've been thinking about her, haven't you?"
"Yes. I've been dreaming about her. It had all been nice dreams before, but last night she tried to kill me."
"Oh Fiona, that's horrible. You poor thing."
"I guess that's my conscience talking."
"Probably."
"I guess I should go back and face the music."
"I think that would be best."
"I'm scared, Elena."
"Of course you are. Anyone would be, but I think if you go back and tell them what happened, it'll be ok. You didn't mean to kill her."
"No, I didn't, but I can't see why they'd believe me."
"Why wouldn't they?"
"I put poison in the food, Elena. I picked up the wrong bottle and I put poison in the food. I didn't eat it, because I wasn't hungry. What kind of lame excuse is that?"
"It's the truth, Fiona, and the longer you stay away, the more it looks like a lie. I'll take you back. I can help you through this."
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why would you help me through this? What's in it for you?"
"Fi, I'm like your conscience. Janet will help you hide and keep you away from the police, but that will wear you down eventually. You're a good person, Fi, and you need to face up to what you've done, or it will hurt you forever."
"She's dead. That will hurt me forever."
"But you're always going to looking over your shoulder, wondering when you'll be found out. Imagine in 10 years time, Fi. You've moved on; you've met someone else; you still feel bad about what you did, but your life has moved on. Then the police find you and ruin your life for a second time. Think about it."
"I... I know, but... but it's hard."
"Yeah, I know, hon. I'll help you. I'll come with you."
I thought for a little while. Ogmore-by-Sea, which had been so idyllic and wonderful when I first arrived here, was getting complicated and wasn't really where I wanted to be anymore, "Okay," I said, "but I need to do something first."
"Sure, no probs."